Juggling all the aspects of my life with some baking, writing and good old fashioned ranting thrown in

Saturday, 9 June 2012

Diet Desperation

It's Day 6 of my diet and I must confess that I think I've gone a little far with it. On Thursday evening, I had a really nasty headache. According to the Tony Ferguson guide, this is to be expected due to the massive change in diet. So I took a painkiller and tried to ignore it.

Yesterday, I cooked sausages, cabbage and broccoli for dinner. As the kitchen began to heat up, the headache returned but I also felt almost nauseous and a quite light headed. The Other Half suggested I have an apple just to boost my energy until dinner was ready. I resisted at first, unwilling to take on any extra calories. But after a few minutes, it became almost impossible to concentrate and so I relented and ate an apple while cooking dinner.

As I was washing up after dinner, it struck me that what had happened was not normal and not healthy. It reminded me of a ridiculous diet during my teens, where I basically starved myself and lost far too much weight. I almost fainted a few times but no matter how much my friends told me that I needed more food, I wouldn't eat more than a piece of fruit or maybe a slice of toast. It became an obsession.

I must not let that happen again. I have realised that my self esteem has actually dropped to about where it was back then. I must keep reminding myself that I want to be healthy and a healthy weight, not just skinny. I need energy to look after my Little Monster, to look after the house and to look after myself. It's all too easy to become fixated on weight loss. I'm glad I had this realisation at this point. After finishing the washing up last night, I had a low fat packet of crisps and didn't even feel guilty afterwards. The diet isn't over but I'm going to calm things down a bit. My health is not really suffering from my weight but it will suffer badly if I don't eat enough.

So on with the diet...but in a healthy manner!

1 comment:

  1. I've had this problem with diets too. I congratulate myself on hardly eating anything in a day, then end up going back to eating 'normally' which means eating far too much of the bad stuff. I try to remember that it's all about everything in moderation, and it's better for me to cut back gradually and lose the weight slowly, rather than go up and down with what I eat. Good luck!